Ok, so I weighed myself earlier today, and I am back at 328. No big deal, because I have lost inches for those jeans to fit. As long as I am losing something, I am happy! Just not up top, I want to save what little I have there! ;) I have kept myself so busy today that I have barely ate, and I do not condone that. I still have some fine tuning to do to my diet, it is definately still a work in progress! I can honestly say those numbers do not bother me at all. I lost 8 pounds my first week, so I know I can do it again. And I will do it again. I have not come this far to just throw in my proverbial towel. That would be such a sad waste of what I have done so far.
It was such a nice day today, so after I weighed myself, we went to the store to get grocieries I had forgotten to get yesterday, (Old age.=D) and went to the park and ate a sandwich from some of the newly bought grocieries. It was so peaceful and a great way for my hubby and I to just sit and chew the fat. hehe. We had a good time, and anyone with kids know adult alone time is sparse with little ones running around. Kids at school is a great time to reconnect with myself and really focus on my journey ahead.
I have had a fairly rocky start with this diet, but this time, it is different. I want to achieve this goal more than anything.....I can just taste it! I'm HUNGRY!!!! HUNGRY FOR SUCCESS! If you haven't listened to any motivational speaking by Les Brown, I suggest you do. Other than the obvious humorous irony with his speaking to weight loss, he is such a great motivator.
With all that said, here is the.....
Thought of the Day
"The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph."
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Today Was A Good Day
Today I dressed myself up real nice and put on makeup. It's so amazing how little things like this makes me feel so good. I wore some old jeans and one thing caught my eye that made me feel really good. I didn't have to suck my fat rolls in! It was a good fit, and I haven't wore jeans in a long time. I have been feeling good all day, one of those days you just wake up and you know this day will be going your way. It makes me want to see what I weigh now, which I will find out tomorrow. Even if I have gained some or all back, I fit those jeans! It makes me want to push that much harder and makes me feel so good about myself. That is why I wanted to dress up a bit, I looked how I felt inside.
My husband ended up taking us out to eat (Chinese haha) to celebrate a milestone in my journey. I savored every bite of my meal, it tasted like perfection! I didn't overeat, although I did have dessert. I do not feel a bit bad about it either. As long as I don't overdo it, its all good to me! I wish all days felt as good as this! I am definately looking more forward to reaching my goal, or maybe even surpassing it.
I have bought a new Crystal Light flavor.....Strawberry Banana with Hunger Satisfaction. Hopefully that can help me fight the mind battle with the foods that I crave: the foods that may ultimately harm or kill me. And overeating any type of food. I definately need all the help I can get!
With all this said, here is the.....
Thought of the Day
"A stumble may prevent a fall"
-English Proverb
My husband ended up taking us out to eat (Chinese haha) to celebrate a milestone in my journey. I savored every bite of my meal, it tasted like perfection! I didn't overeat, although I did have dessert. I do not feel a bit bad about it either. As long as I don't overdo it, its all good to me! I wish all days felt as good as this! I am definately looking more forward to reaching my goal, or maybe even surpassing it.
I have bought a new Crystal Light flavor.....Strawberry Banana with Hunger Satisfaction. Hopefully that can help me fight the mind battle with the foods that I crave: the foods that may ultimately harm or kill me. And overeating any type of food. I definately need all the help I can get!
With all this said, here is the.....
Thought of the Day
"A stumble may prevent a fall"
-English Proverb
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Diverting Attention
I have found something that diverts my thoughts of cravings, and wanting to constantly eat- painting! I love getting my creative juices flowing! Here is a picture I made of one of my bunnies, Marbles:
He's a cutie, isn't he? He is such a sweetheart! That position is called "loafing" because bunnies tuck their paws under their bodies making them resemble a loaf of bread, or meatloaf.....with ears lol. I made a picture of our first rabbit Thumper about a year ago, so I had to make one of him. My babies inspire me, and that's what I paint. Thumper (a.k.a. Queen) is about 3 years old, and Marbles will be 1 next month.
It has worked so far to keep me occupied, as well into diving into my Spring cleaning. It is nice to have some kind of orginazation again, we moved in this house a few months ago and the boxes have sat in the closet since then. I still have the walls, deep freezer and tub to scrub, the inside of the couches vaccumed, the couch cleaned and all windows cleaned. Then, I should be done. I listen to music while I clean because it gives me a boost of energy and makes it fun.
I will have to start kicking myself to keep a journal, it makes things much more realistic of what you are consuming. It helps eating the right way easier if you look down at a piece of paper and ask yourself, "Do I really eat this much or this way?" The paper will tell you the truth if you write down the truth. And the truth is for me: I am an emotional eater. I need to eat for nutrition, not comfort. Eat for health, not to make me unhealthy.
I was looking at some old Physician records for me, and at that time, (2006-2007) I complained alot about back and knee pain. The Doctor always wrote on every visit "OBESE" in big capital letters. I didn't like seeing that. I don't want to be known as that any more. I don't want obesity to be the thing people look at me for. I don't want to be a toothpick (although with my large bone frame will never happen!) I just want to look healthy and be in a healthy weight range. Being underweight is the same extreme as being overweight or obese.
With all this said, it is time for the.....
Thought of the Day
"You can't steal second base with your foot still on first base."
He's a cutie, isn't he? He is such a sweetheart! That position is called "loafing" because bunnies tuck their paws under their bodies making them resemble a loaf of bread, or meatloaf.....with ears lol. I made a picture of our first rabbit Thumper about a year ago, so I had to make one of him. My babies inspire me, and that's what I paint. Thumper (a.k.a. Queen) is about 3 years old, and Marbles will be 1 next month.
It has worked so far to keep me occupied, as well into diving into my Spring cleaning. It is nice to have some kind of orginazation again, we moved in this house a few months ago and the boxes have sat in the closet since then. I still have the walls, deep freezer and tub to scrub, the inside of the couches vaccumed, the couch cleaned and all windows cleaned. Then, I should be done. I listen to music while I clean because it gives me a boost of energy and makes it fun.
I will have to start kicking myself to keep a journal, it makes things much more realistic of what you are consuming. It helps eating the right way easier if you look down at a piece of paper and ask yourself, "Do I really eat this much or this way?" The paper will tell you the truth if you write down the truth. And the truth is for me: I am an emotional eater. I need to eat for nutrition, not comfort. Eat for health, not to make me unhealthy.
I was looking at some old Physician records for me, and at that time, (2006-2007) I complained alot about back and knee pain. The Doctor always wrote on every visit "OBESE" in big capital letters. I didn't like seeing that. I don't want to be known as that any more. I don't want obesity to be the thing people look at me for. I don't want to be a toothpick (although with my large bone frame will never happen!) I just want to look healthy and be in a healthy weight range. Being underweight is the same extreme as being overweight or obese.
With all this said, it is time for the.....
Thought of the Day
"You can't steal second base with your foot still on first base."
Friday, March 12, 2010
My Mind is a Battlefield
It's been awhile since I have blogged, I have been so busy! I will start out by saying I have cheated a bit in my diet. I am still eating healthy, but I have steered to those addicting Starbucks' Caramel Frapps! I have also been eating more in volume. I am disappointed in myself, but I am not going to cry about it. Nuh-uh, not me. I am getting back on track and just trying to move on.
I have not weighed myself lately because I was really swollen the last couple weeks, and of course I gained water weight. I will spare the details for any male readers...... ;) I will weigh myself next week to see what damage I have done and need to repair.
Back to those Frapps, I am now drinking the Light Caramel ones. They have alot less calories and fat and I do not feel guilty drinking one. I get the Venti size, and here is the breakdown comparison of the Original and Light:
ORIGINAL VENTI W/ WHIPPED CREAM
Calories 500
Fat 16g.
Sat. Fat 10g.
Cholesterol 60mg.
LIGHT
Calories 220
Fat 1.5g.
Sat. Fat 0g.
Cholesterol <5mg.
HUGE difference, right? It is so scary to realize what you consume when eating out. You don't realize what you consume while eating out, and possibly not even care. I hate not to eat out because that is what we do as a family. It's fun! There are not healthy restaurants around here, and I would love to start up one to cater to people like me who love to eat out, but are watching what they eat. I have been eating quite a bit of Subway lately, because it is the best choice around. I would love to see them branch out into healthy dining.....with meals and healthy desserts.
I want to thank those who have encouraged me on Facebook, it means alot to me. I haven't given up, just disappointed in myself for letting myself slip because of stress. I was swollen, my husband AND daughter was sick, it was wearing me down. I have decided I will incorporate counseling to help me with my journey. I need help to fight my cravings, big appetite, and emotional eating.
I have battled so much in my life alone, why can't I battle this?????? It is much harder than it looks, but it can be done. And, I can do it! I have WILL OF STEEL.
With all this said, I shall give you the.....
Thought of the Day
"The battle of the mind is the toughest battle to win."
I have not weighed myself lately because I was really swollen the last couple weeks, and of course I gained water weight. I will spare the details for any male readers...... ;) I will weigh myself next week to see what damage I have done and need to repair.
Back to those Frapps, I am now drinking the Light Caramel ones. They have alot less calories and fat and I do not feel guilty drinking one. I get the Venti size, and here is the breakdown comparison of the Original and Light:
ORIGINAL VENTI W/ WHIPPED CREAM
Calories 500
Fat 16g.
Sat. Fat 10g.
Cholesterol 60mg.
LIGHT
Calories 220
Fat 1.5g.
Sat. Fat 0g.
Cholesterol <5mg.
HUGE difference, right? It is so scary to realize what you consume when eating out. You don't realize what you consume while eating out, and possibly not even care. I hate not to eat out because that is what we do as a family. It's fun! There are not healthy restaurants around here, and I would love to start up one to cater to people like me who love to eat out, but are watching what they eat. I have been eating quite a bit of Subway lately, because it is the best choice around. I would love to see them branch out into healthy dining.....with meals and healthy desserts.
I want to thank those who have encouraged me on Facebook, it means alot to me. I haven't given up, just disappointed in myself for letting myself slip because of stress. I was swollen, my husband AND daughter was sick, it was wearing me down. I have decided I will incorporate counseling to help me with my journey. I need help to fight my cravings, big appetite, and emotional eating.
I have battled so much in my life alone, why can't I battle this?????? It is much harder than it looks, but it can be done. And, I can do it! I have WILL OF STEEL.
With all this said, I shall give you the.....
Thought of the Day
"The battle of the mind is the toughest battle to win."
Monday, March 1, 2010
Living Life Upside Down
Hello! My name is Amanda, and I am addicted to food. I have lived my life around my addiction to food, instead of actually living life. I have never been able to wear the latest clothing trends, never went to Prom, never did anything that normal people do. Being fat instantaneously makes you different, and I wanted to be normal, to fit in a niche. My only friend growing up was food. It never picked on me, laughed at me, or called me names. When I was sad, food cheered me up, when I had a bad day, food was there to comfort me. So, I delved deeper into my addiction, and thickened my armour of fat. All the hateful, spiteful things people did to me made me want to thicken the armour even more. I never had any friends until I hit High School, he was different like me.
I never lived life the way I should have, and I wish I would have been on a diet I was actually serious about before now. I am 30 years old, my life is most likely half over. I think back now to all of the possibilities that have eluded me, and it is all my fault. I still have problems socializing; when I talk to someone, I can't look them in the eyes. I don't want to see the possibility of someone criticizing me with their eyes. I do have ALOT more self esteem than I did, say, even 5 years ago, but that fat, shy, emotional kid still lives deep in my heart.
That is why I am choosing to change all of this and nothing can get in my way. It is time for me to live the life I deserve, which we all deserve. No more hiding in my armour of fat, it is time for it to go. It is not my true real friend. It is my enemy, attacking from all sides. A wolf in sheep's clothing. Losing weight by far surpasses just aesthetics, it is an emotional journey predominately. You have to be mentally ready and focused to keep your new lifestyle. I not only want to lose weight, I want to keep it off, and enjoy the rest of my life. I want to be able to keep up with my kids, take them to the park and participate, not sit and watch. I no longer want to sit and watch my whole life pass me by. That is why this blog is being written, this is no quick fix miracle diet. It is a journey to a better, healthier, smaller me. I'm worth it.
Ok, here are my menus for Saturday and yesterday since I am soooo far behind:
SATURDAY
SUNDAY
Thought of the Day
" What if we reach up and touch the ground, to find we're living life upside down?"
-Truth w/Russ Lee Living Life Upside Down on the More Than You'll Ever Imagine CD
I never lived life the way I should have, and I wish I would have been on a diet I was actually serious about before now. I am 30 years old, my life is most likely half over. I think back now to all of the possibilities that have eluded me, and it is all my fault. I still have problems socializing; when I talk to someone, I can't look them in the eyes. I don't want to see the possibility of someone criticizing me with their eyes. I do have ALOT more self esteem than I did, say, even 5 years ago, but that fat, shy, emotional kid still lives deep in my heart.
That is why I am choosing to change all of this and nothing can get in my way. It is time for me to live the life I deserve, which we all deserve. No more hiding in my armour of fat, it is time for it to go. It is not my true real friend. It is my enemy, attacking from all sides. A wolf in sheep's clothing. Losing weight by far surpasses just aesthetics, it is an emotional journey predominately. You have to be mentally ready and focused to keep your new lifestyle. I not only want to lose weight, I want to keep it off, and enjoy the rest of my life. I want to be able to keep up with my kids, take them to the park and participate, not sit and watch. I no longer want to sit and watch my whole life pass me by. That is why this blog is being written, this is no quick fix miracle diet. It is a journey to a better, healthier, smaller me. I'm worth it.
Ok, here are my menus for Saturday and yesterday since I am soooo far behind:
SATURDAY
SUNDAY
Thought of the Day
" What if we reach up and touch the ground, to find we're living life upside down?"
-Truth w/Russ Lee Living Life Upside Down on the More Than You'll Ever Imagine CD
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