Living Life Upside Down

Hello! My name is Amanda, and I am addicted to food. I have lived my life around my addiction to food, instead of actually living life. I have never been able to wear the latest clothing trends, never went to Prom, never did anything that normal people do. Being fat instantaneously makes you different, and I wanted to be normal, to fit in a niche. My only friend growing up was food. It never picked on me, laughed at me, or called me names. When I was sad, food cheered me up, when I had a bad day, food was there to comfort me. So, I delved deeper into my addiction, and thickened my armour of fat. All the hateful, spiteful things people did to me made me want to thicken the armour even more. I never had any friends until I hit High School, he was different like me.

I never lived life the way I should have, and I wish I would have been on a diet I was actually serious about before now. I am 30 years old, my life is most likely half over. I think back now to all of the possibilities that have eluded me, and it is all my fault. I still have problems socializing; when I talk to someone, I can't look them in the eyes. I don't want to see the possibility of someone criticizing me with their eyes. I do have ALOT more self esteem than I did, say, even 5 years ago, but that fat, shy, emotional kid still lives deep in my heart.

That is why I am choosing to change all of this and nothing can get in my way. It is time for me to live the life I deserve, which we all deserve. No more hiding in my armour of fat, it is time for it to go. It is not my true real friend. It is my enemy, attacking from all sides. A wolf in sheep's clothing. Losing weight by far surpasses just aesthetics, it is an emotional journey predominately. You have to be mentally ready and focused to keep your new lifestyle. I not only want to lose weight, I want to keep it off, and enjoy the rest of my life. I want to be able to keep up with my kids, take them to the park and participate, not sit and watch. I no longer want to sit and watch my whole life pass me by. That is why this blog is being written, this is no quick fix miracle diet. It is a journey to a better, healthier, smaller me. I'm worth it.

Ok, here are my menus for Saturday and yesterday since I am soooo far behind:

SATURDAY

SUNDAY


Thought of the Day
" What if we reach up and touch the ground, to find we're living life upside down?"
-Truth w/Russ Lee Living Life Upside Down on the More Than You'll Ever Imagine CD